Do you ever feel like confidence is this unattainable "catch 22" situation? I mean, confidence is attractive! We're drawn to people who are comfortable in their own skin, brave, and successful. But it seems like we constantly chase these things, thinking that once we succeed, THEN we'll be more confident of our future success. The thing is, I've actually found the opposite to be more true. When I experience success easily, I take it for granted and just raise the bar. I set higher expectations and I'm never content with the outcome.
Experiencing failure and realizing life goes on has been the most motivating experience, and one of the biggest keys to my current success.
In my opinion (and personal experience) the fear of failure is what robs us of our confidence. It's not that we don't think we CAN do it... it's that we're so damn scared of failing that we don't. So I've made it a practice to try new things that are scary and hard. To go into things fully expecting failure, because I know now that failing is usually just the first step in mastering something new. Once you get the failure out of the way, you can start to learn and grow and succeed!
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
For the record, sometimes I struggle with confidence in HUGE ways (like starting multiple businesses that result in credit card debt, a very injured ego, and a mini identity crisis). Sometimes I just feel like an idiot in front of the camera and it takes ALL my will power, and an incredible group of supportive friends, to go get my dang picture taken. I've taken plenty of pictures that make me cringe, and when someone points a camera at me I instantly get weird and giggly and uncomfortable, but because of all those shitty pictures and mess-ups, now I can confidently show up to get professional headshot without fear of failing.
Worst case: more bad pictures that I hate.
Best case: letting a very talented photographer (https://ashleekay.com) work her magic and bring out a side of me I didn't think was there. I'm proud of this picture... and I'm glad I quit getting in my own way long enough to get it!
Get out there and fail at something spectacularly so you can learn something new and become a better, more confident, version of you. I promise you won't regret it!